As you all know by now I have opinions on things. Some of those opinions cast a beautiful light on the world that inspire me, make my life worth living and are full of smiles and fluffy bunny rabbits. Then there are the other ones, the ones filled with bitterness and irritation the ones where the fluffy bunnies are riddled with Myxomatosis. Guess which ones I am going to talk about today?
In France you can ride a 50cc moped at 14, some of these kids are perfectly sensible (ish) riders, and others are not, they are bloody idiots who jump red lights, never wear crash helmets, wear t-shirts and shorts, listen to crap music and have silly haircuts. This however is not what annoys me, well apart from the music and the haircut, nope what annoys me is this.
I am riding happily down the road, at or very near to the speed limit and up ahead of me I see some police, pulling people over and checking documents and vehicles. Sure enough, as I arrive a policeman pulls me over into the lay-by. At that moment a helmet less little oik goes past me on the back wheel, what is our fine gentlemen and ladies in blue reaction? Nothing, not a sausage, they don't even blink. Instead they continue to check my documents and check that my pride and joy is totally and utterly road legal to the smallest detail even down to chain tension and whether the horn works. I have to ask why they are bothering me with all this, and the answer is to
“Promote road safety by raising awareness of vehicle condition, sir”
Next question from me was obvious, “ What about those idiots on the mopeds then, why don't you stop and educate them?”
“They are too difficult to stop and won't listen anyway” is the reply.
Fuming I pulled my helmet on and disappeared on my way, considering buying a moped and a silly haircut, if only I had enough hair.
And another thing that pisses me off, is that moment when your jacket is zipped up, crash helmet is on, the gloves are pulled on, snug, comfy and ready to go, you reach to turn the key and realise with a sinking feeling that the key is in the inside pocket of your jacket. Gloves off, placed on the tank, jacket unzipped, key found and placed in the ignition, jacket done up, helmet back on, one glove on, second glove slides off the tank onto the floor. You lean off the bike trying to reach it, feel yourself over balancing and lift yourself up, get off the bike, bend over retrieve the glove and pull it on, snug, comfy and ready to go.
These are evil
Then that sickening feeling hits you...you've forgotten your ear plugs, they are in your inside jacket pocket....gloves are the Devil's creation!
Stay safe and stay sane,