Snuggled up under the covers, warm and safe with the sound of a loved one snoring and farting beside me, I really enjoy watching some of those fail videos that are so common on YouTube. I don’t know about you, but however much I enjoy watching idiots falling off buildings, crashing cars or getting their karma handed out to them almost immediately, I have a problem watching the motorcycle accident or near miss ones. I guess I know only too well, from personal experience, the ouchness that goes with a close encounter with mother earth. Of course that doesn’t stop me watching them; it just means I wince a lot while doing so!
Now some of those compilations are great, some not so, but being a biker I started out always having sympathy for the guy, or gal, who had a problem keeping it rubber side down. I say started out because as time passed I started looking at them in a different way. Instead of reliving past pain I started looking at what was going in the video, apart from the bike. I started trying to anticipate where the accident was going to come from and just what it was going to be. Now I am going to risk alienating some of you by saying that the next natural step was deciding who was to blame for the accident, near miss or road rage incident in the videos and I was surprised to realize that in a good many cases the riders were at least in some way to blame or at least could have minimized injuries with a bit of common sense.
How can I say that? Well let’s take one clip and look at it in a clinical way. First up is a guy who gets into a tank slapper, fair enough, these things happen and there is very little you can do about it. I think it was provoked by a change in road surface but if I wouldn’t be sure that I would have seen it in the same position. However, look at the state of the guy after the accident and all because he wasn’t wearing the right gear. Really, over 100mph in shorts and where the fuck did his shoes go? He could have walked away with nothing more than a big parts bill, instead he gave me nightmares about skin grafts.
Next up the guy practicing stunts, no worries there, we all fuck up…although his mate falling off when chasing the rogue bike raised a smile but the clip right after that is a classic case of not anticipating other riders and maybe not reading the road correctly.
The poor sod on the roundabout is after that, he could do nothing and that is a nightmare scenario for any biker and there is fuck all you can do about it. The “noob alert” one is a mystery, was it the road surface? I don’t think they panic braked, maybe they just got fed up with riding and decided to get off?
I don’t know why the guy in the next clip decided to try to undertake a bike that was obviously decelerating hard and positioning to turn, but he did and he was lucky that his mate was the forgiving type...even if he didn’t have a turn signal on.
Then there is the guy who gets irate at the pickup truck, ok, the guy in the truck was a dick, but he wasn’t being a dick to the guy on the bike. In my opinion the situation develops because the biker decides to act as a policeman and punish the truck driver. I know , opinions are like assholes, everyone has one! However, I reckon the driver of the station wagon was probably so stressed out by having the bike and the truck fucking about behind them they just wanted out of it and so pulled over to the right to let the truck through, almost cutting the biker up. If I were a betting man I would lay money on the bike being in their blind spot at the time as well.
I am going to stop there but there are other obviously avoidable accidents on that clip, and on many others out there.
I ride like a twat very often, ok almost all the time, but because I ride like a twat I realize that I need to be aware of anything and everything that can go wrong if I hope to get home in time to see the next episode of GOT. So I have one thing to say to all the people in these videos…” Thanks, your sacrifices have given me the chance to study , in real life situations, just what can go wrong and so give me a better chance of saying ‘Ouch, fuck, aaaaargh and I want my mum’ a lot less often. You should all get funding as an educational resource!”