You know what they say, “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has got one”. Well today begins a set of blogs that I plan to write once a month which I hope will be the equivalent of poking you lot with a pointy stick. Hopefully they will also, at times, allow me to be a bit more of an asshole than I usually am. What I am going to try to do is write an unpopular opinion about some subject or other and hopefully get you lot to enter into the spirit of things by either defending or attacking it, please however remember what I write is not necessarily what I think and neither is it the viewpoint of Motominds or any of our partners.
Now, let’s start with the obvious one, motorcycles, not very good are they? (told you what I write is not necessarily what I think!)
Back before most of us were born, motorcycles, in the U.K, were the transport of choice for many households. This wasn’t because of their practicality or anything to do with all the fun reasons I mentioned in the why I ride post last week, it was purely because they were cheap and cars were expensive. Most families who wanted an independent form of transport only had this one option, buy a bike, slap a sidecar on it and make do. With the end of the war and the coming of mass production car prices dropped and realising that their transportation problems were finally solved families shed the bikes with the same sort of speed usually reserved for finishing work when someone offers to buy you a pint. This in itself should be enough of an argument to convince you bikes are not that good. However if you need more convincing how about considering that with the bike market in free fall and the second hand prices plummeting the people who went out and bought them were teenagers. What person in their right mind could ever seriously argue the case for anything a teenager thinks is good…?
You have heard KPop haven’t you?
What, even after that you need more reasons. Ok, when it rains, or it is cold, you have to struggle into layers of specialist clothing in an effort to keep dry or warm, an effort that is normally about as successful as trying to convince Mr Trump to step away from his phone. Then when it gets hot you bake because you still have to wear that specialist clothing or risk gravel rash when gravity proves to you that two wheels are about as good at staying upright as a student at happy hour.
And don’t get me started on the ecological side of things. A modern bike struggles to match the fuel consumption of a modern car and its ability to eat tyres is scary. Of course you could come back with the fact that bikes are without doubt the better performers in the $ to top speed or acceleration market but then again I would be a lot slower if I was asked to cart around a weekly shop, two kids and the better half, wouldn’t you? Talking of which, how did those two kids get made? It certainly wasn’t on the back seat of a bike, open to the elements and in full view of the world, unless of course your idea of post coital relaxation is explaining what you were doing to an ever so nice desk sergeant down at the local cop shop.
So I guess that is the final and most damning nail in the coffin of the motorcycle, if we want to reproduce to help with the continuation of the human race, ditch the bike and buy a car.