‘Twas the night before Christmas...almost

‘Twas the night before Christmas...almost

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all was quiet ‘til spring

No engines were running, no joy could they bring.

The bikes all stood sleeping, wrapped up in their sheds

Batteries were charging, you could tell by the LEDs


All bikers were snuggled up warm in their beds

Dreams of circuits and twisties flashed through their heads

And I in my Christmas hat, happy and warm

Snored and farted my way to the dawn.


Then out in the garden all hell was let loose

The alarms were blaring they could wake a dead goose

I ran to the window, what was the matter?

A joy riding idiot, I’d make his head splatter


The light of the moon on the new fallen snow

Cast just enough light on the scene down below

A fat red clad ass was stuck in the shed door

And around the shed eight reindeer did paw.


Down to the garden I went pretty quick

But I wasn’t stupid , I carried a big stick

I grabbed hold of the trousers and gave such a pull

Luckily they were strong, made of quality wool


A jolly fat man,  beard and red cheeks

I recognized that face, I’d seen it for weeks

“Santa” I said “why are you in my shed?”

“Shouldn’t you be giving presents to children in bed?”



The fat man laughed and rubbed his round tum

“I’m sorry young Ratso, I justed wanted some fun

I’ve been working so hard, all the time stuck inside

Even though it is Christmas I just wanted a ride”


“No problem Santa, I’d love a ride to

Work some Christmas magic, so the tires stick like glue,

You take the Triumph, I’ll take the Zed

Careful though, it’s not like your sled”


On snow covered streets the two did go

Kept  toasty warm by a magical glow

Posing in shop windows, beaming with pride

Knee down on corners, Santa could ride!


Their circuit finished, to the sleigh they returned

The bikes were stowed away as if no wheel had turned

Onto his sleigh Santa did climb

Off in a hurry to make up lost time


Christmas morning dawned and for Ratso a prize

Down in his shed  a glorious surprise

Carbon Fiber and Titanium, how it did glow

Bits to go faster, not just for show.


“God rides a Harley”, or so it is said

But Santa has dreams of Triumphs in his head

And on frozen wind a greeting did come

“Happy Christmas to all, start to dream of the sun”



Happy Christmas everyone,


Leave a comment