Hello again everyone...
Guess what, it is raining again, no surprise there really, after all the bike is running beautifully and I don’t have to take any kids to school for a couple of weeks. With that bit of knowledge alone it stands to reason that it is going to rain and ruin what could be a blissful few weeks. Which happily leads me onto the subject of today’s intelligent and well thought out post, read on dear reader, read on.
No today’s post is not about Sod’s law, however appropriate that would be, it is in fact about water, and more to the point lots of water. You can’t have helped but notice that recently there has been a lot of it about. I am not talking about just here in France, but all over, whenever I turn on the news it seems to me that there is a flood somewhere. Now I am not saying it is due to global warming, although a new report today reckons the sea levels might rise by 2m by the end of the century, it could equally be due to some natural cycle in the weather, or god leaving the tap on by accident or Alien Lizards terra-forming the earth using contrails. Whichever of those equally valid reasons it is , the fact remains that there is a hell of a lot of flooding about and we have to know how to deal with it.
Riding in a flood takes a certain skill set that it is well worth developing. First you need to realize that floods are big and often deep and so you need to find a suitably massive expanse of water to practice on. Luckily that should not be too much of a problem, there are such things as lakes in most regions and if you are lucky enough to live by the coast that big damp thing that appears where the land stops could be just about perfect. If of course you are lacking large amounts of wetness then maybe a neighbor has a swimming pool you can utilize, I suggest at night when no one else is about , you wouldn’t want to ruin their swim time would you?
This is what you are aiming for
So the next thing you need to do is to make sure you get a good run up. You need to get a fair speed up but still be accelerating when you hit the water. This is because the front end needs to be light otherwise you will end up nose diving and cart wheeling which is not really the desired option. It is however quite spectacular and worthy of a few thousand YouTube hits which might help with advertising revenue which in turn will help with the hospital bills. Finally, when you hit the water remember to keep the throttle wide open, if the power drops it is game over and if there is anyone watching when you do this it shows them that you have balls of steel and are not going to bottle out at the last moment.
While practicing this skill I would suggest tying a rope to the back of the bike, fitting training pontoons, having a friend in scuba gear and a barge with a crane on it on standby. Oh and it might be worth having a few spare bikes available and writing a will. However, don’t let these minimal necessities put you off; nothing worth learning is ever easy…except maybe the ‘righty tighty’ rule; that is useful and easy to learn.
And, if you are good enough you can also earn a
few bucks rescuing cars
IF you get the balance just right then there is no reason why, with practice, any flood you will encounter will become nothing more than a hindrance in an otherwise wonderful journey. What is more, if you happen to live on an island or just need to cross a river and the bridge is clogged with rush hour traffic, with this new found skill you will be able to save on ferry crossings and / or cut down your commute time. Get out there, practice and be prepared for whatever the world may throw at you.