Zombie biker from hell

Zombie biker from hell

So, I went for a ride on my bike Sunday evening.  The sun was low in the sky, the air warm after a beautiful day and I thought I would take the long way to my favorite bar, and when there reward myself with a cool beer.  

Coming around a long fast bend, over a slight rise that makes the front end of the bike lift in a very satisfying manner a representative of the local birdlife decided it was going to try and get across the road before I arrived. Needless to say it failed, and a pheasant connected with the forks of my bike in a very explosive manner.  Luckily for me the pheasant hit the forks pretty much square on.  If it had gone through them it would have been a new radiator, if it had hit the wheel I guess it could have thrown me off and if it had flown a little higher…Well put it like this, I was not exactly going slow, so being hit in the chest by a 2kg bird might have been a little bit ouch.

There was blood and guts everywhere and a large amount ended up all over my crash helmet, visor, and because the visor was slightly open, face.   I wiped off the worst of it and carried on to the bar.  Strangely enough, most of the rest of the ride was taken up dreaming of the toilets there, which is a complete first for me…they are not usually the subject of anyone’s dreams, unless you are very strange; nightmares yes, dreams no. I arrived, walked in and was greeted by screams and looks of horror on the faces of friends and acquaintances.

Like this, but better looking of course!

One of them ran up to me “Who did it mate? We’ll get them”

I had not thought about how I must look, dried blood encrusted on my face, my jacket covered in lumps of random body parts and brains, The Walking Dead comes to mind!  After a short explanation and a beer I was ready to leave and so swung my leg over my bike, only to be stopped by a lady friend who is obviously a lot more sensible than I am.

“Don’t  you think you should warn your wife before you get home?”

Bikes have never failed to make me smile, ok that is not quite true, they have made me swear and scream a few times to, but generally after the dust has settled and the blood’s mopped up I find that I smile when remembering.  They have added spice to my life, found me friends and good times and generally given me something to escape to when times are bad.

And the past couple of weeks in the UK have been really bad, and it is hard to smile through crap like that but …..

Stuff everything, I’ve always got my bike !

Stay safe


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